Some days I want to be a cat. Even a cat of the most noble bulk (being really frickin big) can stalk across the room with self assurance that they are Gods and everyone should worship them . You are there to serve them, so love them… NOW.
I need to learn to be like my cat. I should be worshipped, I am gorgeous, and gosh-darn it you should love me right NOW.
Where is this coming from? I had a crisis of appearance on Friday. The problem I face is my program tends to attract very fit girls who look great all the time (though I’m sure they would tell me differently). I suffer from a lack of fitness, lack of fashion, and lack in subtle makeup. Maybe part of the problem is that I see such a big difference in myself when I dress nicely or do makeup that it always feels fancy. I’ve always looked in the mirror and said, “This is way too much for everyday, people will think I’m crazy to wear this much makeup”. When I think about it I know girls who don’t leave the house without doing at the very least foundation or tinted moisturizer and something around the eyes. So why am I so hung up about this on me?
It comes back to being like a cat.
A cat wears anything with full confidence (and occasionally with vengeance in their hearts…) and I need to learn to do that too.
Tomorrow I am joining weight watchers. I know I said I’d give myself some time, but I need the help. Wednesday and Friday I am going to the gym. It is time to get this thing going and with my addiction to baking I’m not doing well on my own. It wont solve body image, that is all me, but it will bring me closer to the goal of being healthy.
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